Resolution Declaration . . .

Okay, that settles it. We're gonna hit the ground running in 2012. A friend voluneered to be the guinnea pig first volunteer on this blog, and we're going to work towards a 5K this spring.

I'll go into more details about his stats, vitals, name, likes, and dislikes soon, but for now we'll start with this: I asked him, "Well, how long has it been since you've gone for a run?"

He said, "You mean, like on purpose?"

"Yes, on purpose."

He scrunched up his face for about ten minutes, then said, "I don't know, thirty years."

So, well, okay, 5K (that's 3.1 miles, a standard community road race distance) by spring. Longer term, we're talking a possible 10K fall 2012. With just a touch of luck, the Mayans will be right and we won't have to worry about training the coming year for a marathon.

Anybody who would like to join us in our training, feel free. We're starting with a two mile walk / short run on 02 January. We need to get an idea of what kind of shape we're in, then we'll build a program.

For the record, I have been running regularly for quite some time with no specific goals in mind. For the record, my most recent 5K time (early October 2011) was under 21:00 minutes -- we'll probably be shooting for something considerably higher than that time.

Also, for the record, as I promised on the very second post in this blog, please feel free to praise both of us for our efforts and our commitment as we initialize this project. An occasional prayer to the deity or universe of your choice is always welcome.

Public v. Private

The New Year is almost here . . . so I strongly encourage everybody to get in all the swearing and overeating you can in the next for days, because we're all gonna do better in January.

I've had several suggestion-type resolutions come to the old email, and I'm whittling towards a resolution and someone to work with.

One of the things that I'm most interested in finding out through this experimenting with other people's promises: resolutions, as with so many things in life, are a deeply personal mode of operation. Where some folks want to quit smoking cold turkey, others want to ween. Where some have a scientific weening, others ween by feel. From a different angle: where some folks want "to be in better shape," others want to run a nine-minute mile or benchpress their own body weight.

Of course, there have been group resolutions (I'm generalizing now, and I know it) for as long as there have been personal resolutions, and these have had their own pros and cons. Personally, I'm excited to see how this all pans out: the very private process of resolution butting up against the largely public product of the blog.

Top Ten Resolutions List

I found this list of the top ten resolutions at about.com -- it focuses on Pittsburgh for web reasons beyond my understanding, but I think it looks pretty standard.

Here, then, is the list:

1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends
2. Fit in Fitness
3. Tame the Bulge
4. Quit Smoking
5. Enjoy Life More
6. Quit Drinking
7. Get out of Debt
8. Learn Something New
9. Help Others
10. Get Organized

So Check out the site if you get a minute -- all pretty standard fare, like I say, but about.com goes into a little more detail. But don't feel limited to these traditional resolutions. Maybe you want to:

1. Spend Less Time with Family & Friends: Yeah, they're cute but do you have to play pool on Thursday, Bowl on Tuesday, and mudwrestle on Sunday -- maybe your problem is that you spend too much time with your peeps. Awesome though they are, maybe you want to put some distance between you and them, such that you can finish that puzzle you've been building.

2. Give the Workers at the Gym Some Rest: a nap never hurt anybody, and your body, ultimately, just ain't that important. I don't care what advertisers say, there's more to health than this mass of flesh and cotton.

3. Eat Better Food: okay, I want to make this specifically about not-eating-healthier, but the fact is, when I say better foods, I mean better cuts of meat, the freshest vegetables, new recipes. I'm not terribly interested in your bulge . . . I just think there are better things in life than Ramen Noodles.

4. Quit Gossiping, Bad Mouthing, Flipping People off: yes, smoking can be bad for you, we all know this, but there are many social ills. Smoking might shorten one's life, but there are many things that we do that make life less . . . healthy.

5. Make Someone Else's Life More Enjoyable: this doesn't have to mean "make an anonymous $10,000 donation to someone whose blog your really like," but we could all spend an extra fifteen minutes a day doing something legitamately nice for someone else -- bet  it would increase the quality of life for everyone around us.

6. Yoga.

7. Okay, I've Got to Admit, I, Too, Would Like to Get out of Debt: until I get out of debt, I effectively pay an extra 20% for everything I buy, rent, or lend.

You know what, these last three look really compelling to me, though awfully vague.

I'm still looking for suggestions here. I know someone out there wants to resolve soon . . . it's anonymous, it's free, I'll do the bulk of the typing . . .

Why Resolve?

I've been getting a lot of enquiries lately about the nature of resolutions:

Why do we resolve? Is it even a real thing -- a resolution? Isn't it more like an idea? Why don't we just do the things we want to do rather than resolving to do them?

I suppose most people have some form of answer to these and similar questions, answers that somehow relate to experiences they've had, stories they've read, studies they've seen, and Rocky movies.

My answers come from a combination of all of these things, but, as with my answers to most questions, language is at the heart of the matter. When we resolve to do something, when we make a conscious decision -- I am going to . . . -- we make our actions possible through the language we use to shape our vows.

Language, I think, is strange like this, because we can use it to steel ourselves against hardships: we can, for instance, say, "I am going to quit smoking," and by saying this we create a world in which quitting smoking is more possible; it is more concrete, very specific, much more than, say, "I am going to do better."

But we can also use it as a crutch: we can say, "I am going to quit smoking," and then we don't have to do anything, because we've already taken a first step; we've already determined that we will someday do something.

A resolution becomes a real thing when it is an agent of change. But, again, this has entirely to do with each individual being honest with herself. Again I'm thinking, Mark Twain: "Quitting smoking's easy. I've done it a hundred times." And I'll bet most smokers have had this experience, where they've said, "As soon as I finish this pack, I'm done" or "This is my last one" or "Tomorrow morning, no more." And for some folks, that's enough. But for many of us . . . well, I'll just have this one more . . . and it goes on like that.

My friend's grandfather quit smoking when cigarettes went up to forty-five cents a pack. He was a chain smoker and just dropped the habit, because of a nickel. Ha! How beautiful is that! Still a nickel doesn't deter most of us -- a small price to pay for a fix, right?

I heard a show on NPR recently where a pack-a-day woman, who felt criticized by a friend said, "Okay, if I ever smoke another cigarette, I'll donate a thousand dollars to the KKK." She said she thought that particular donation was the most heinous thing she could think of doing, so no matter how badly she has wanted a cigarette over the past few decades, she has never lit another one. But, again, let's face it, for most of us, such a resolution would just mean funding an awful institution.

So we have to be honest with ourselves -- and I'm saying this, because I'm still looking for suggestions for this inaugural resolution -- what are we willing to do? what do we want to do? how are we going to do it? Email me: otherpeoplespromises@gmail.com

Also, why do we resolve? Well, you all remember this scene from Spaceballs: The Movie.

This is why we don't just go: because sometimes we end up falling on our ass.

Wills and Won'ts

Other things I will not do: if we agree to lift weights together, I will not do your laundry.

If we agree to meditate daily, I will not stand behind you and ohm.

If we agree to take more pictures, I will not pay to have yours developed.

If we agree to write more letters, I will not lick your envelopes.

I will do all those things with you, though.

Clarification

I've been getting a lot of question lately about the ideas behind this blog. So the question is: Jackson, will you do my New Year's Resolution for me?

No. Not for you. With you.

What do you have in mind? Wanna do some volunteer work? Gonna try to go for a long walk each evening? Interested in staying taller than your children for a little while longer?

Well, some of those things are real things, and I will go through it with you -- most likely long distance. If, for instance, you live in Buenos Aries, we don't have to hang out each week and exchange notes: on the other hand, if you're gonna fly me down, we'll chat.

If you have a general resolution in mind, email me: otherpeoplespromises@gmail.com. We can work on something more specific. If you, for instance, want to "save the world," we might be able to come up with a plan to advocate for greater awareness about pollution within our respective communities. If you have it in mind to become a better athlete, we'll determine a sport or an objective, figure out a schedule, and work towards athleticism.

Imagine how great we'll be! Fit, community-minded.

Incentives: The resolution doesn't have to be earth shattering. You can stay anonymous on the blog if you like. This will almost certainly get at least one of us into Heaven or something like Heaven.

Mark Tweet

Mark Twain once tweeted, "Quitting smoking's easy. I've done it a hundred times."

In a somewhat similar fashion, I think I was addicted to withdrawl for several years after college. Each weekend, I'd chew a can of Copenhagen. Each Monday, I'd swear it off, sweat it out, be clean by Thursday evening, and then, well, you know . . . but those days are long behind me now.

Anybody else an expert at quitting something?

I've gotten a couple of noble suggestions for this deal, but I'm going to keep asking: does anybody want a partner-in-resolution this New Year? It doesn't have to be anything ground-breaking, or even anything that seems life-changing up front. Also, it's going to be very difficult for me to give up hard drugs as I haven't tried any yet.

Congratulations Are on the Way

Okay, so I think this will be a good project for a number of reasons. First off, misery loves company, pleasure loves company, hell, company loves company some times, and a number of resolutions will bring a combination of those things.

Beyond that, having someone else to encourage and celebrate even the most mundane event makes that event seem worthwhile.

There are other reasons, but I want to be clear about this: I like positive feedback. This will be a place where at least a few people will congratulate us on a regular basis for sticking to our promises. It'll be fun. It'll be rewarding. People will like us. Email me.

For the blog, you can be anonymous if you want -- I'm excellent at keeping secrets -- or I'll call you The Jackal, and, no, not just because I'm reading The Day of the Jackal right now.

Last Year's Promises

"Another year of unfulfilled resolutions has passed. I wanted to run more this year. And write more. To be a better father and spouse. I wanted to cook more at home, learn more recipes, figure out the difference between cooking with butter and cooking with olive oil. I wanted to be a better friend and neighbor. I wanted to watch less television or, at least, better television. I wanted to read more or, again, at least, read more specifically. I wanted to write better lessons plans for better syllabi to help my students become better people."

I wrote that on New Year's Day this year, and it all still holds true, and, to some extent, I have done some of those things -- for instance, I watched The Sopranos, tv doesn't get any better than that. But I also realize that I often set huge, sweeping, general resolutions. The result is often that there's no real way of determining individually whether or not I have accomplished anything.

So any suggestions? Email me -- otherpeoplespromises@gmail.com -- and we'll see if we can make something happen. Whether you have a broad resolution -- for instance to become a better driver -- or something specific, we'll figure out the details as we go. If it's a limited time project or a lifelong project, we'll figure out the timeline.